


Say Something (A Johnlock Songfic)

by forevershipjohnlock



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M, Other, Songfic, a great big world, say something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 19:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1316386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forevershipjohnlock/pseuds/forevershipjohnlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A songfic using the lyrics from Say Something by A Great Big World. Immense feels warning, also attempted suicide and drug use.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Something (A Johnlock Songfic)

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since I first heard this song, I wanted to write a songfic for Johnlock using the lyrics. So, this is the product of that. I apologise in advance for the immense feels... no wait, no I don't. I'm an angst whore :-3 Enjoy!

_Say something, I'm giving up on you._

 

It had been months since Sherlock had heard from John. He tried his best to forget it, to just move on and go about his life the way it was before. But after all they had been through together, it just wasn't possible for him to completely erase him when he was so deeply embedded all throughout his mind palace. He returned to the drugs, much to Mycroft's dismay, but it was becoming increasingly difficult for even that to do any good. He hadn't eaten in days, maybe even weeks, he couldn't tell the days apart anymore.

 

In the back of his mind, Sherlock knew this wasn't healthy, wasting away because of one person, but that was just it. John wasn't just another person. Sherlock would have literally died for him and technically speaking he did for two years. He had no idea by the time he came back it would be too late.

 

_I'm still learning to love, just starting to crawl._

 

Sherlock never claimed to be an expert in emotions, much less the complexity of love. He had no idea what it was until John Watson came into his life. John was a beacon, a hope to Sherlock, proof he had a heart. Now all of that was gone and he was crumbling.

 

He had just taken a strong dose of heroin and was shuffling around the flat aimlessly, staring blankly at the chair that John once occupied. His hand trailed reverently over the Union Jack pillow and he felt tears come to his eyes before picking it up and plopping down into the chair. He hugged the pillow close to his chest and cried, his vision getting blurrier by the second.

 

“I'm sorry,” he whispered to the empty flat just before he completely blacked out.

 

_Say something, I'm giving up on you._

_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you._

 

John had been thinking a lot about Sherlock lately. He was wandering the streets of London, hands in his pockets and face towards the ground, trying to think of something else. Apparently his subconscious wanted him to do the opposite of that and as he looked up he found himself on Baker Street. With a sigh, he trudged on, figuring he might as well get the conversation over with.

 

Once he arrived at 221 and made his way up the stairs to his old flat, he couldn't help but sense that something was wrong. It was way too quiet, even though it was late at night. Sherlock had to be awake, he rarely ever slept when they were living together, why should it change now?

 

He opened the door with shaking hands and his heart stuttered at the sight presented to him. “Sherlock...” he breathed and rushed over to the lanky detective, looking even more thin and pale than usual. “Sherlock?” His hand reached up to take his pulse and he gasped at how weak it was. Cursing under his breath, he whipped his mobile out of his pocket and dialed for an ambulance. After he confirmed the address he worked on trying to wake Sherlock up, to no avail. He could finally feel tears reach his eyes and he pulled Sherlock out of the chair to cradle him in his arms.

 

“Please, Sherlock... Please stay with me. Dear God, let him _**live**_.”

 

_And I will swallow my pride._

_You're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye._

 

Two months passed, John spending most of his time in hospital, right next to Sherlock's bed. The detective didn't show any signs of waking anytime soon and the doctors had even talked of taking him off life support. Mycroft had been given the decision and was struggling with it for obvious reasons, but John had lost all hope of seeing Sherlock awake and alive again. He took one of Sherlock's hands in his and brought it up to his lips, kissing the knuckles.

 

“I'm sorry, Sherlock. I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I didn't... I didn't know what to say, how to react. I-- I needed time.” John could hear his voice breaking and the sting in the corners of his eyes but he couldn't find it in him to care. He had to say this.

 

“I love you, Sherlock Holmes. I love you-- _**so**_ very much and... God, I should've told you sooner. But there's nothing I can do now, is there? You're... you're really going to be gone for good this time. I just... I need to say goodbye. I can't leave without saying goodbye.”

 

_Say something, I'm giving up on you._

 

John sat in silence for several minutes before finally releasing Sherlock's hand and standing. He swallowed and turned around, walking to the door. Just as he was about to leave, something stopped him in his tracks.

 

“John?”

 


End file.
